Running Home

Now as I head out on a run if anyone asks me where I am going, often my first and unspoken thought is the same. I am running home. And I am not running by myself. I have a family doing it with me cheering, “Run Home Becca!”

I love to run. When I run I get time to slow down and think. It’s easier to take the time to notice all the beautiful things surrounding me. I am filled with awe as I ponder on all my body is doing simultaneously allowing me to run.  It’s a time to ponder on the many things that God is blessing me with that let me know that He is aware of me and loves me. I work through perplexities in my life. I often find myself praying and pouring out my heart to God for the desires in my heart. Running provides a space for my soul to rejuvenate and be reminded of what really matters. It also gives me a place where I can just be and enjoy the fun of it all.  

On a recent run I was pondering on some conversations I’d had with friends recently on the desire to progress and have a family. I am in my mid 30’s and single with a hope that someday I will have a family. I was pondering on what I could do to progress toward this desire and dream. As I was thinking a memory came to my mind from when I was a kid. My family was in the field behind my house playing a game of baseball. As I rounded third base my Dad yelled to me from the pitching mound, “Run home Becca!” I immediately changed my route from home plate to my house right behind the field at full speed. I never touched home plate, but I did make it to my real home. My family has had good laughs over this since.  

“Run home Becca!” The words kept repeating in my head. How could I run home? Recently my family has all spread apart living plane rides away from each other. Many of my close friends were leaving and as the words continued in my mind I began to feel a deep loneliness and wondered what it was I needed to be running towards.

My thoughts continued. Another memory came into my mind. This one was filled with more pictures and feelings than words. Once a friend, in an effort to help me understand how God feels about me, asked me to picture my own little girl that I would have someday. The same images came to my mind that had before. A little redhead with a freckled nose and a big grin, wearing a blue dress. And then I remembered the questions posed next. How do you feel about her? What would you do for her? I felt completely consumed with love for her and that I would do anything for her. The next question. How do you think God feels about you? What would He do for you? What has He done for you? I thought not only about how aware God is of me and his sacrifices, but also who I wanted to be both for Him, and for my future children.

The pondering continued and went to my ancestors. I’ve been reading about my great-grandfather, Oscar, and all that he was willing to give, his entire inheritance, to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, because He knew it was true. His decision changed my life before I was born. I thought about my great-grandmother Irene, whom both my mom and I’s middle name is for. She loved beautiful things and kept an amazing garden. Children from the neighborhood would pick her flowers, come to her door, and sell them to her. She bought them. She loved children and was kind through and through. I’ve always wanted to be like her. Another  great-grandmother was approached by an angry mob threatening her out of her home because of her religious beliefs. Their threats came in the midst of her chores. She made it very clear to them that she would not leave until she had finished making her soap. And she did. That took some spunk. Other stories came to mind of my predecessors and what they were willing to die for, their choice to have faith in God and optimism, hard work, dedication to God, upright character, decisions to change for the better, and on and on. The next question that came to my mind was, what am I doing with the legacy they left me?

Now I was no longer just asking what am I running towards right now? It was, what am I running toward for the eternities and what does that mean I need to be running towards now? And no longer did I feel that I was running alone. I have all those who came before me, and there will be more after me. Although I don’t see them, I know that they are helping me. I felt wrapped in a feeling of love and belonging. I have a family, seen and unseen, born, and unborn. I felt my heart begin to enlarge and expand. Maybe this is what Malachi meant when he said “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers…” (Malachi 4:6). We are all connected. And I have a heavenly family, brothers and sisters all around me on the same journey, headed back to our heavenly home.

Now when I think about where I am headed, it isn’t just a hope that I will have a future family, it’s an assurance that I am already part of a huge family, I just haven’t met them all yet. But my choices here and now are impacted by what my family has done before, and what I would like to give to my children after me. God knows who I am. God knows my family, all of it. God has a plan and He keeps His promises. I don’t know when I will meet my family that has gone before, and that will be coming, but I know I will. And I know it will be in God’s time, and with their help. I just need to keep running and giving my best. I feel I have an unseen, but very present, fan base on this run, and sometimes crawl, I am on in life. Knowing that I am part of something much bigger than just me, changes me. It changes the decisions I make and who I am striving to be. Knowing the God I trust gives me faith, and hope.

Now as I head out on a run if anyone asks me where I am going, often my first and unspoken thought is the same. I am running home. And I am not running by myself. I have a family doing it with me cheering, “Run Home Becca!”

How may knowing you are part of a family, seen and unseen, impact the way you live your life?

How does knowing and remembering Christ help you trust His timetable for you?

Please share your thoughts or experience below!