Whitney earned a PhD in Instructional Psychology & Technology. She loves to travel, has visited 21 countries, and hopes to see all the Wonders of the World. She is an international bed racing champion! She loves running and ran her first marathon in 2018. She served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Romania. Back in the day she competed at Miss Idaho and won 2nd runner up, the talent award (piano), and the Miss America Community Service Award. She has a great sense of time and can usually tell you the exact time within a minute or two at any given time of the day. She thought she would marry a runner in her early 20s, and have a house full of boys. None of that happened, but she is happily married with seven wonderful children. Whitney and her husband own the amazing cookie company, Crumbl.
How have you found God in your mothering?
I have found God in mothering by frequently being on my knees in prayer. Motherhood has brought me such great joy, but it is definitely not without its challenges and struggles. I need God in my life. I need His insights, His patience, His love.
Back in 2007, Henry B. Eyring gave a talk asking us to consider how we have seen God’s hand in our lives. I have recorded how I have seen His hand in my life each day since that talk. Writing down simple ways He has blessed me has opened my eyes to how God is involved in our daily lives, particularly in my mothering of His children. I have fasted and prayed for my children, each of them with different needs and concerns. God has given me suggestions on how to help them. He knows my children perfectly. He loves them perfectly. I know he is very involved in my life and the lives of my children.
One day I took four of my youngest children to the grocery store. One of my boys was having a really difficult time listening and obeying. He was putting stuff into our cart, eating candy from the bins, grabbing toys, pulling out balls, etc. I was pregnant, tired and had been asking him to stop touching everything in the store.
As we were checking out, he jumped upon the moving register. I tried to grab him to move him off, but he moved, and my fingernail scratched his arm. He started crying and then screaming, “I’m bleeding! I’m bleeding.” He was fine, but it was really embarrassing, especially when an associate came over to help me with a bandaid. My three year old must have sensed my frustration, came over to me, gave me a hug and quietly said, “ I love you Mom.” I felt God gave him empathy for me and helped calm my frustrated heart. God is definitely with us as mothers and delights in helping us on a regular basis.
What are practices that help you focus on joy with yourself and your family each day?
I love to run in the mornings. Often during my runs, I listen to conference talks. It’s a quiet, peaceful time for me. Listening to these messages gives me joy, brings me peace, and is often a time for me to receive personal revelation. I am able to come back to my family feeling refreshed with my oil full, ready to take on the demands of the day. There is a scripture in Psalms 30:5 “Joy cometh in the morning.” I have found this to be true with my morning runs.
I have made a conscientious effort to really enjoy my children, to spend at least 10 minutes of one-on-one time with each child each day, to not worry so much about the messes, to play with them, and really love them. I know they will grow up much sooner than I want. I hung the following quote in my laundry room, which reminds me to cherish each day, and not worry so much about having a spotless house,
“If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.” Thomas S. Monson.
What is a struggle you’ve recently experienced and how were you able to find a solution/answer?
I have a 5-year old son who is really smart, curious, and somewhat sneaky. He’s a delightful boy who keeps me and our neighbors on their toes. One week in particular with him was quite trying. It started when he walked through our neighbor’s wet cement they had been waiting to fix for several years. Next, he opened one of their Amazon packages on their doorstep, didn’t care for the books that were inside and threw them in their garbage. Then, a different neighbor thought someone had broken into their house, but it turns out the only thing that was out of place was an open freezer because Gavin had invited himself in through their back door, grabbed a bag of popsicles and started sharing them with all the kids in the neighborhood.
Oh, and then on Sunday he put a passcode on my neighbor’s Apple Watch during Sacrament meeting. She didn’t tell me she couldn’t get into her watch until two months later. Luckily Gavin still remembered the code, and she didn’t have to make a trip to the Apple store to fix it. To top it off, a young man was trying to ask our neighbor, Grace to the dance. Gavin ate the cookies that he was using to ask her, and then left the box with our other neighbor, Paige (who also has a senior who thought she was getting asked to the dance as well). So all of these events had happened, and on that particular day I was feeling discouraged about my parenting.
A friend and neighbor saw me at our preschool pick up. She texted me and said, “You looked upset earlier. How can I help?” I told her that my son had been acting up that week and that despite all of my prayers and fasting, I wasn’t sure how to help him. This woman became the answer to my prayer. She texted me some heartfelt advice from both a mother’s perspective, a friend perspective, and also a teacher’s perspective. It was exactly what I needed. After that, every Friday for a few weeks, she came and picked up Gavin and took him to do some fun activities for a few hours each time. They went to the library, played at the playground, had a picnic lunch, and she also spent time reading with him and just talking with him, making him feel special and important. She didn’t have to do it, but she did something the Savior would have done.
She loved him. She acted just like the hymn, “I would be my brother (Or Gavin’s) keeper. I would learn the healer’s art. To the wounded and the weary, I would show a gentle heart. Savior, may I learn to love thee, Lord, I would follow thee.”
I am grateful that we don’t have to do motherhood alone, and I am grateful for others who respond to promptings to help those struggling with motherhood from time to time. God often answers our prayers through others, and hopefully, there have been times when I have been an answer to someone’s prayer as well.
What other thoughts would you like to share about how you have found joy and purpose in motherhood?
There have been many wonderful days as a mother, and there have been some hard days, filled with challenges, frustrations, and failures. I have changed thousands of diapers in my lifetime, cleaned Magic Marker and paint off of the walls more than I can count, put hundreds of bandaids on little owies, cuts and bruises, and have kept seven baby books up to date. I have read many, many books to my children, have driven them to many places, fed them countless meals, and snacks, and have planned an impressive amount of princess and superhero parties.
These are simple, easy things. Sometimes when I am feeling discouraged, I start thinking, “Man, what am I doing with my life? I have a PhD, plenty of work experience, and all I am doing is buckling kids up in car seats, and consoling a crying child.”
Fortunately, these moments are quickly fleeting, as God opens my eyes to my purpose of being a mother. He reminds me through the Holy Ghost that being a mother is an incredible calling. He opens my eyes to see that I am helping to shape a soul, helping my children see they are of great worth, helping my children see the marvelous potential they have, helping my children discover their talents and strengths, helping my children understand they have a Savior and Redeemer.
My purpose is great! I’m eternally grateful God has trusted me with these children. He expects me to teach them, to take care of them, and help them return back to Him, and His Son, Jesus Christ. Motherhood is a great, joyful privilege, one I hope I never take for granted.
For those reading, I challenge you to write down the joyful things that happen to you this week in your mothering, and to pray to find out what lesson God would have you learn right now from being a mother (or a daughter, sister, aunt, grandmother, or friend).
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