The Healing Balm of Gratitude

I believe that often the same situations that bring sorrow are also the planting grounds for growing joy beyond our current capacity.

It’s natural to think about gratitude this time of year.  As I’ve been contemplating gratitude, I’ve felt the need to share a personal experience that taught me some valuable principles.  My hope in sharing, is that no matter what your life circumstances are, these principles can bless your life as they have mine.

Last year, I experienced postpartum depression slowly seep into my life when my baby was about 6 months old.  It was something I really struggled with for several months.  As I began to recognize what I was experiencing, I wanted to be very intentional in gaining the necessary tools to make it through this difficult time and to learn how  to teach my children  if they struggle emotionally.  

I learned so much about God, about myself, and about the nourishing power of friendship during this period of time.  I was also able to develop some very helpful skills and learned some extremely valuable lessons.  One of those skills I’ve been thinking about lately– and that I’m continually seeking to develop– has been having a grateful heart and mind.

I had enjoyed journaling on and off throughout my life, but had never kept a gratitude journal.  I didn’t ever really have the desire to or felt it would be that impactful.  At some point though, I started having a nudge come to my heart that writing things down that I was grateful for at the end of the day would be a skill to help me through postpartum depression. I realized quickly that it was much more healing than I had anticipated.

When I first began, I knew that sometimes the things I would feel really grateful for would be more temporary elements of my day.  But I wanted to focus on being grateful for more lasting, eternal parts of my life.  I thought about a speech I had studied by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Grateful in Any Circumstance that really helped me to experience a paradigm shift of what gratitude truly entails.

In this speech, he suggests “that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation… that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.”

I remember one day, after I’d decided to keep this gratitude record, being in an early morning yoga class.  The teacher was having us practice mindfulness and had us think about feeling grateful for our bodies right then, that we were able to move and exercise that day.  A wave of gratitude washed over me and I felt a warmth and peace in my heart that brought me joy, a feeling I was longing for.

I recently attended a class on mindfulness that taught that sorrow and joy are two sides to the same coin that are experienced in the present.  When we are obsessing over the past, we often experience depression.  When we are worried about the future, we experience anxiety.  But true joy can only be experienced in the present.  Thus, when we’re practicing mindfulness of what we are currently grateful for (even something like being grateful we have enough food to eat today), we are opening up the windows to feel joy in our hearts.

I believe that often the same situations that bring sorrow are also the planting grounds for growing joy beyond our current capacity.  There is a quote I love by Neil A. Maxwell from a Brigham Young University Speech he delivered.  After describing the pain Christ endured by suffering for every human soul, he says, “that the cavity which suffering carves into our souls will one day also be the receptacle of joy, how infinitely greater Jesus’ capacity for joy, when he said, after his resurrection,’Behold, my joy is full.’ How very, very full, indeed, his joy must have been!”

Thus, sorrow often is preparing our souls to experience greater joy than we can currently comprehend.  I realize that one way to feel true gratitude and joy during difficult times is by recognizing that what we are currently experiencing will teach us and cause us to grow into individuals with a much greater capacity to be joyful.  There is power in recognizing the greater purpose of life, which in part is growth.  Our deepest sorrows often provide the perfect conditions for seedlings of character and wisdom to be planted and for growth to occur.  

I love looking back on days in my gratitude journal that I know were probably particularly difficult in the midst of postpartum depression and reading, “I’m grateful for my heart and that it feels so deeply” and “I’m grateful for strong emotions– that the sweet are stronger when having experienced the opposition of the bitter.”  

Over a month or two after starting, my gratitude record changed.  I had begun by making a simple list of those things I felt grateful for.  I received some counsel to look a little deeper and change my focus to the ways in which I saw the Lord’s hand in my life each day and express my gratitude for those things in both writing and prayer.  

So my gratitude journal evolved into my “seeing the hand of the Lord” journal.  My nightly ritual on most nights now includes pondering those tender mercies that occurred during the day and then expressing gratitude to my Heavenly Father for those things.  I’ve noticed that through that simple act, my heart becomes filled with love and gratitude.  I have grown in my ability to recognize and feel God’s love for me as His daughter through this practice. With those blessings have come peace, comfort, confidence, and strength.

I’ve been amazed that sometimes at the end of a particularly difficult day, after going through this ritual, the things that I have written would make it appear to someone on the outside that I’d experienced the most wonderful, miraculous day.  That those days were truly great days.  

These journal entries of simple experiences where I’ve noticed God’s hand have become precious gifts that I can look back on and open up again and again.  Many experiences that may seem simple in the moment have become more profound as I look back and see these events as evidences of God’s hand in my life.  

I’ve also noticed that in some of the seemingly darkest points in my life, I’ve been given the greatest messages of light from heaven.  These have become guiding stars as I’ve looked back and received counsel and teaching from what I recorded during those times.

I have come to recognize a pattern from this practice in my own life and in teachings from the scriptures.  When we exercise gratitude, our hearts are opened to feel of God’s love.  When we feel of His love, our faith in Him increases.

gratitude —> love —> faith (trust)

 So, if your life circumstances are causing fear and doubt in God and His plan for you, begin today by practicing gratitude and see how your heart is changed and your faith is strengthened.  “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Experiment: Consider one way in which you can express more gratitude and make it a daily ritual.  It may be reflecting at the end of each day and creating a list, or it may be seeking to recognize God’s hand in your life and expressing gratitude through prayer.  I know that practicing gratitude will help you feel joy in your heart and help bring a greater daily awareness to how much God truly is aware of you and loves you.

Share your experience using the hashtag #myvoiceofgladness.